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Join Ginat as she hosts a monthly chat the last Sunday of each month at CyberMacro, at 2pm eastern time.
Ginat Rice, June 2002
Cancer is a scary word. It's something that happens to someone else, particularly when one is a veteran macrobiotic counselor advising other people how to deal with serious illness. Yet it happened to me after twenty years of dedicated macrobiotic practice at the height of my counseling career.
The world of macrobiotics was revealed to me in Jerusalem in 1980. I delighted in this logical and ordered way of living, sensing the deep truth on which it is based. In Jerusalem's fledgling Macrobiotic Center of Israel we studied principles and taught each other to cook. As my diet improved I became healthier on many levels.
In 1982 I traveled to Brookline , Massachusetts for formal macrobiotic study at the Kushi Institute. After completing three levels of instruction I was invited to scribe for Michio Kushi in his health consultations. I joined the Kushi Institute's cook referral service, traveling to several states to teach and cook for clients. I also embarked on a lifelong study of shiatsu massage. I became head chef of L'Odeon (later Satori) Natural Foods Restaurant, in Allston , MA , then manager and finally co-owner. Throughout this time I ate a standard macrobiotic diet based on whole grains and vegetables, with the addition of desserts, sauces, and creative food combinations. Restaurant work can be stressful, and this was compounded by a co-dependent relationship that took three years of self-help programs to recognize and heal.
In 1995 I returned to Jerusalem where I met and married Sheldon Rice, a long-term macrobiotic practitioner. We developed a home-based macrobiotic consulting service offering health advice, private and group cooking lessons, live-in facilities, a bed and breakfast, gourmet dinners, take-out meals, and courses in macrobiotic principles, shiatsu, reflexology, diagnosis, and palm healing. I dedicated myself to my clients and worked long hours with great tension.
In April 1999 I was surprised to feel a small lump on my right breast. At first I ignored it, but when it began to hurt I arranged for a medical examination. A palpation and mammogram proved inconclusive to the examining surgeon. My macrobiotic counselor, Rik Vermuyten, also raised no red flags. Nevertheless, I simplified my diet considerably. Gone were the gourmet feasts and luscious desserts. We ate simple macrobiotic fare in silence in order to concentrate on our chewing. I did not understand that my condition was energetically too contracted (yang), and that I needed to lighten up my food and my emotions. I still kept up my strenuous routine of teaching and cooking along with an overly serious outlook on life.
Nine months later I returned for a checkup. The tests showed the tumor had a grown a whopping thirty percent. The examining surgeon was alarmed by fluid discharging from my nipple, and immediately performed a painful needle biopsy. A second surgeon concurred with the cancer diagnosis and recommended immediate surgery.
Rik's extensive examination of my face, eyes, tongue, arms and feet confirmed their conclusion. He explained that cancer is caused by stagnating energy in the body. In my case, liver energy was particularly sluggish. I was naturally attracted to contracting foods such as stews and baked goods by my inherently yang natal energy. They also served as a counter balance to years of sugar as a child. I sought excessive sweets in a misdirected effort to gastronomically relax tightness in my nervous system.
Resentment, anger and impatience were emotional warning signs that I did not heed. Such deep psychological changes require slow and steady self-reflection. Yet the tumor was progressing rapidly. Surgery would help me open up physically until I had time to do so spiritually. Rik also recommended chemotherapy for the initial shock it gives the body, cautioning against the drug tamoxifin.
I hesitated at first to reveal my condition to the Jerusalem macrobiotic community. I projected their condemnation, as if my illness proved me or macrobiotics failures. Yet there are no guarantees in life, and I determined to accept and change the condition I had created. I understood that macrobiotics—Great Life--includes whatever form of medicine suits the current need. My operation actually seemed to unite the Jerusalem macrobiotic community. The phone rang constantly with local and international support. By week's end our bedroom resembled a flower shop. The outpouring of love and kindness of our friends, clients and family was heart warming. So many people who we had helped in the past were returning all that they had received and more.
The mastectomy revealed the cancer to be confined to the breast with no growth beyond the chest cavity. Two lymph nodes were found to be cancerous. I began the chemotherapy protocol of four sessions administered at three-week intervals. It was a terrible experience of dehydration and debility that entailed emergency hospitalization for intravenous transfusions three times. The oncologist admitted that he might have overdosed the drugs, which were based on statistical averages rather than my specific needs. He cut down the individual dosage and added a fifth session.
Even though I was awash in the world of hospitals and doctors, I considered medical intervention as adjunct to true healing. Taking personal responsibility for my illness, I focused on my emotional and mental needs. I admitted deeply held anger, impatience and guilt and actively sought programs that would help me release them.
I worked with a superb healer between chemotherapy sessions to release accumulated anger and fear. I saw an osteopath specializing in mind-body therapy twice weekly for a five month period to re-experience old emotions, and began yoga classes with an inspiring teacher and friend. I took advantage of the hospital psychiatric services but found the staff psychiatrist's classically Freudian method lacking the compassion and personal warmth I needed. Quitting his aloof treatments made me feel like a failure until I realized that saying no to him was actually a sign of strength. I frequently turned for reassurance to a friend who is a clinical psychologist. I joined a prosperity workshop to tackle my problematic relationship with money, organized a four-session anger workshop at our house and joined a meditation group. I learned healing visualizations to release resistance. These avenues of spiritual growth eased my anxiety about the cause and healing of my disease. They represent the most profound expression of macrobiotics and the one that I most needed.
One of my most rewarding healing experiences involved a workshop based on the teachings of Louise Hay. I found it empowering and reassuring that I was indeed making changes and could affect my future. This ten-session course was scheduled to begin just at the time of my fourth chemotherapy session. I struggled to decide whether to interrupt the psychological advances I was making to continue with the dreaded treatment. Only two more rounds remained to complete the protocol yet I was beginning to doubt their value along with my ability to survive them. My slender frame could not withstand such an abusive onslaught of toxic chemicals. I suffered great personal anxiety in the face of heavy medical and family pressure to continue.
With the help of my macrobiotic counselor I was able to understand this conundrum: If I felt I needed more chemotherapy, then I did; if I knew that I did not require any more, then I didn't. I made the brave decision to take charge of my own healing, listening to my own body regardless of protocol, pressure or personal fear. Chemotherapy had jolted my system out of its chaotic growth pattern. Now I was ready to begin deeper healing. My combined efforts were helping me control my anger and impatience, and my moods were no longer changing cyclically as they had been.
Phiya Kushi highlights four factors in successful macrobiotic practice: 1) A supportive environment; 2) Harmony with natural surroundings; 3) Feedback, or self-assessment; and 4) Food, including preparation, eating habits, selection, and proportion according to yin and yang principles. My social environment (1) was greatly supportive with a loving husband and wonderful friends. My contact with nature (2) was relegated to weekends as I loved to work on projects without setting time boundaries. I lacked a sense of my personal needs (3) to make daily adjustments for my condition. It never occurred to me that my impatience and occasional bursts of anger were signals of deep imbalance.
It wasn't until I resumed study with Michio Kushi that I could appreciate the role food (4) played in creating my cancerous condition. I considered myself immune to serious illness because I was “macrobiotic.” While they were excellently prepared, I ate late meals, snacked and did not always chew well. Quality and variety, so taken for granted in the US , are limited in Israel , and I lacked foods like hard leafy greens that could have relaxed my condition. More than anything, my shortcoming was proportion. I offered weekly lavish feasts consisting of tempting and calorific macrobiotic dishes with multiple sauces, dressings and desserts. Daily take-out meals and cooking classes were often similar feasts. I ordered whole-wheat flour, grain-based sweeteners and rice beverage by the case. I excelled at baking bread, cakes and cookies. Michio emphasizes the stagnating, yang effect of these hard, dry baked flour products.
I was scared, and questioned my ability to recover and remain well. I had missed both physical and psychological warning signs and didn't trust my self-diagnostic abilities. Although in general breast cancer can be considered a yin imbalance, mine was a manifestation of overriding tightness in my diet and lifestyle. It's solidity, tenacity and position on the right lower breast indicated a yang condition. Kombu seaweed and cabbage compresses during the initial nine months did not melt this stubborn malignancy. I had casually ignored tell tale red markings in my sclera, irregular pulses and painful points on my feet during reflexology treatments.
I experienced great fear and anxiety at the beginning of my recovery with the massive infusion of chemicals and drugs into a body that had not tasted an aspirin in twenty years. My kidneys and liver were so poisoned by chemotherapy that food could hardly mitigate its effects. The emotions corresponding to these organs are fear and anger, respectively. It was a difficult period lasting over a year as I released these emotions.
As I began to eat more simply, cutting back on oil, salt and complex dishes, I realized just how contracted and complicated I had been. I incorporated lighter dishes and more variety into my diet. As I regained my strength I reclaimed confidence for curing the condition I had created. Certainly the possibility of recurrence always lurks in the shadows. Genes may be contributory, though I don't hold them responsible. Ultimately I understand my dis-ease as a reflection of my life choices, and a powerful new opening. Our patterns of thought create our reality either intentionally or by default. To the degree that I can conceive health, I am well. To the degree that I can know God, I am whole. This, to me, is macrobiotics.
Illness opens the door to spiritual growth as great suffering indeed enables great benefit. I discovered friends who I thought were only clients and acquaintances, and found their expressed love and support uplifting beyond my dreams. I lost my arrogance about my invincibility, and my magical thinking that it can't happen to me. I realized that I am entitled to be ill, even to the point of serious discharge. My empathy for sick people soared now that I have spent time on their side of the fence. I recognized deep emotional trauma and resentment that I would never have admitted.
Today I have had no symptoms of disease. My energy is vibrant, my sleep trouble-free and my mood consistently upbeat. I am happier than I have ever been and truly grateful for the opportunity to change life patterns. Knowing myself better than ever, I use food, thought, breath and movement to create the experiences I desire. I affirm the macrobiotic lifestyle as the best possible means to a happy and healthy life, and my own ability to follow its teachings to create my own personal health and happiness.
Ginat's Study Group
An on-going philosophy class in English exploring ideas of macrobiotic thinking
Date: Every Sunday
Next Class: March 26, 2006
Time: 7-9 p.m
Place: 20 Arlozorov Street, Jerusalem
Cost: 30 NIS
Last Week: “Am I Yin or Am I Yang?” Foundational concepts
This Week: Self-diagnosis: How to recognize our constitution and condition according to yin and yang.
Each week includes a review of past material. First-time students are encouraged to attend!
Other Activities
Our website, www.TheRiceHouse.com, will be ready soon. Stay tuned!