[Klara]

Manymoon,

In all the many wonderful posts you have written I have always felt elevated afterwards. This is the first time I was sadly disappointed.

Derek,

I was actually impressed that all that you indulge in is at least all mb. That in itself I find to be an expression of great discipline. There are many many many people who "practice" mb, but often (or not often, sometimes) find they eat the food that's too extreme (some call it cheating, I don't care for that term) for their needs. And then of course pay the price.

I think it is very important to figure out the why's of things, but along with it, to keep practicing what you do know. There's a huge amount to learn, both from mb and about mb. It is a spiral, the better you will be at one thing, it will influence other parts. I think it's WONDERFUL that you love cooking and love food. I think joy in all of life is crucial.

The only part I agree with manymoons is that these forums are limiting. It's almost impossible for you to cover all the details that might hint at where the cause may lie. That's the journey we are all on for ourselves, but just maybe someone might say something that might touch the right note for you.

I was also so hoping someone would give an answer that would also give me direction. We have a support group where we have had the discussions about overeating and eating at night. Although the advice given there was to self-talk, give yourself a pep talk so as not to do what you wish to do, I found that answer not at all satisfactory for myself. I am fortunate in that I am taking a course which if done right leads one to much self-awareness and self-growth. But the work is slow - and unfortunately patience is indeed one of the attributes that I need to work on.

I also heard from a much respected counselor that too often people want change much faster than is good for the body. Change that goes slow is what is most efficient and helpful. So perhaps take stock and realize you have made changes since taking on mb and as long as you remain on the path, you will continue to do so. And of course, you will fall sometimes, but as long as you pick yourself up and continue, you will solve your issues. Be brave.

Now for the mystery - some advice given to me is to be less yang, eat more fresh food rather than left-over, eat less beans, have good quality desserts, have lots of leafy greens, drink sweet vegetable drink twice a day, every day (something I don't do enough of) (that's cabbage, squash, onions and carrots, 1/4 cup chopped fine of each vegetable (1 cup total vegetables) to 4 cups of water, simmered 1/2 hour (NO SALT), drained, and drink 1/2 cup warm mid-morning and mid-afternoon, tea time), chew well.

Now for non-food issues that I'm working on, not to respond immediately, to listen more attentively, to take things lighter, see the humor, let go of hurts.

For myself, I think the reason I eat at night is two-fold, I feel I haven't been "fed" well during the day, I interpret that for myself to mean I don't feel satisfied, so I need either to look for more meaningful activities or to be more appreciative of what is already in my life and secondly, as long as I'm occupied, food doesn't take front and center, but when it's late at night, my energy isn't for activity, so I'm not occupied and I eat. If I could force myself to get to sleep earlier while I still have resolve not to eat I keep thinking it would work, but I still want to be "fed" so I stay up trying to feed myself, not food, but satisfaction. Yet even I see there is some progress. I don't eat as much junk as I used to, and I don't eat quite as much quantity as I used to. Like I said, the progress is slow but there is progress. And I too would welcome other suggestions that I have not thought of, but I feel great optimism that the course I am in will indeed move me the way I wish to. I apologize that the course is a bit complicated to explain and is not available outside my local area, but the emphasis is on doing practical things to change one's character traits, from inside and out.

Klara